how to see now

i sold my camera phone, so the past week i've been thinking of bringing my digital camera with me wherever i go.
sad thing, i lost my digital camera too, rather it got stolen.

so now, i don't know how to go about thinking i don't have anything to take pictures with. it's so frustrating that everyday for the last week i was thinking of picking it up, but then i didn't. and it managed to get stolen.

i can't help blaming myself. i can't believe i wasted time not taking photos with it.
and i can't believe i didn't make the most out of every photo i took with it.

i have probably thousands now, but they all just sit in my hard drive, because i couldn't make myself post process them.

ay, regrets.

but as they say you lose something so that your hands could be free to receive something better. *sigh*

and i'd be happy even with a second hand d90. *gooey-eyed*

put poetry in motion

For years now my memory has been slowly deteriorating. I thought it was because of what they say about giving birth, that the anesthesia makes you forgetful.
It's only now that I realize (after reading a blog that I have been following for a number of years now) that my failure to remember is due to my indifference. As I have failed to find attachment on things, on places, on people, i have failed to bond them with memory. I felt it, I have been incapable of feeling for things for some time now. That is why all that I can remember clearly are the befores. Have grown quite numb and apathetic.. It gave the illusion that I was strong, I guess I am, but also a two faced coward.