benta

"Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag
natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"

--bob ong

*

As April approaches, three people come to mind. Jonathan Brandis, Kurt Cobain, and June "Bangkay" Ramos.

1. Jonathan Brandis
We have the same birth date. I adored him back in high school and college.
He was the most famous Bastian of the Never Ending story. He was my Lucas Wolenczak of Sea Quest DSV. He was the reason I grew to love dolphins and more of the sea. He had blue eyes and always wore checkered long sleeved tops. He spoke like he had gum in his mouth even though there wasn't any. He filled my Thursday nights with sci-fi. I remember he had a Nissan Maxima and I wrote him a letter once.
I lost track. I got the shock when I heard he died of suicide at age 27, hanged himself. My age right now. He could have gone further. Maybe he called out to me. He could have waited for me to get back to him.

2. Kurt Cobain
I could have waited three more days and my son's birthday could have been the same as his (but that would have been totally overdue). April though is his death month.
I'd play a Nirvana tape and I'd knew exactly how many seconds I need to rewind to a track I'd like to hear over and over (without looking at my watch). I always listened to him with my eyes closed and I always sang with him as if he too was singing for me. I copied or bought magazines that had articles on Nirvana. I made a Nirvana collage. He was an addict like I was to him. He complained of nauseous pain. Then he died....with a gunshot wound in the head.
Back in high school, I decided his songs should play on my funeral, but he went before I was gone.
I knew every line of his supposed suicide note. (Yes, because news surfaced that he wasn't suicidal at all, even the Rome incident and that Courtney is manipulating everything, maybe that was why Dave Grohl didn't side with her. Poor Frances).
I welcomed his peace, love and empathy. I still want his songs playing at my funeral.

3. June "Bangkay" Ramos
My first memory of Bangkay was at KKK monument in Lawton. He was wearing this Girl (bitch) this t-shirt that I really wanted. He was this kind of kid who's all friends with everyone, even people he just met. He was the kind of person who is not difficult to love, he had charm. He was there when the hubby and I were starting out.
He was a really good skateboarder, winning competitions here and there. One day he had a motorcycle accident and that started his ordeal. He still skated though, this though guy, he really love the sport.
He was on his way to a demo/competition up North when we all lost him.
March was his birth month, and it will be his death anniversary in April. He is remembered for the good man that he is. Not very many knew his story but the people who knew him know how to pay tribute.

crash into me

if there was one song to be left out from all the millions, and this song would be the only one that could be played for the rest this life, it would be....
from the most basic of genres to the most complicated and eclectic fusions of music, which could it belong?

I've always believed that there should be no boundaries in music. Why should there be, music is expression and art. Although, there are singers that are just there for the money, and the songs produced for them are crappy, but that's beside the point. I'm not saying that everything is good and enjoyable, what i mean is that every genre has something to offer and we should refrain from generalizing or stereotyping. Oftentimes, kinakahon natin. I couldn't think of an english word that would suit it perfectly. On second thought it's confinement. But I digress, that thought should be in a different entry.

So, i am very open to different kinds of songs and artists. Most of my favorites i find hard to put in particular genre because what i like are those crossing borders. I am no expert, but I take pride in knowing them. Here are some:

- Pantera (Metal), especially the guitar riffs of Cemetery Gates just makes me go crazy, I just loved to hear how the guitar seems to be crying. It's sad how the guitarist Dimebag Darrel had to die.
- Nirvana's songs are just to die for and Kurt Cobain (Grunge)(another great artist that is no more) is my favorite singer of all time. They are everything, no more no less. And I want to pick up a guitar again only to play their songs.
- I love the goth in Evanescence and Amy Lee, even though i believe they don't consider themselves that. Her voice is powerful and the depth in their songs is draining.
- I adore Gwen Stefani. She has a unique voice that is whiny but sexy and her songs even before with No Doubt have a strange appeal.
- Alicia Keys is a great singer and composer and R n' B is beatiful.
- Sarah Mclachlan is Sarah Mclachlan. Her songs just put you in a trance.

The list goes on and thinking about it, maybe 16,000 songs in an iPod wouldn't be enough.

But again, what if there should be just one. I realized this last week and i have declared this to several people already. Oftentimes I would create a playlist with 20 songs at the least, but when i get to this particular track, i just ignore all the others and repeat it non-stop.

It's not pop, rn'b, grunge, or metal. In fact like my other favorites, i don't know where to put it (I sometimes am not even comfortable with branding music into genres actually). The music is a mixture of many influences. When i hear it, i know i can fly, and i know happiness and peace. And for the rest of my life I would love hearing....


you've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend
into your heart I'll beat again
sweet like candy to my soul
sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
lost for you I'm so lost for you

You come crash into me
And I come into you

(it's by dave matthews band)

i may have loved photography even before i knew it. i find delight in pictures with good quality, and i hated badly taken photos. even before i knew the basic principles of photography, i was applying the rule of thirds for example.

taking pictures for me doesn't only mean capturing scenes that i find beautiful, or depicting the story in that scene. from the start, i try to conceptualize or direct what i take.

but this is not to say i am good in photography. i love the art in photography. what i have is just an entry level point and shoot with very limited features. i'd like to get to the point though when i can say that, "it's not the gear, it's how you use it" or "it's not the camera, it's the shooter". oh, whatever. but i'd still love to have a DSLR.

here are some, critique all you want.