right now i can only think of two persons - zhang jingna and alodia gosiengfiao. so imagine my surprise and envy when i first found out that they had a shoot together and are even each others favorites.
one is a photographer from singapore, but has conquered the world. the other one is a filipino cosplay artist who has gone about the same - both just 22 years old, for goodness' sake!!!!
my point is, being in the IT industry, shouldn't it be that one who inspires me should be someone like the google guys or the brains behind facebook?
so what does this say about me?
i know i'm not the only who is in the same situation and, it's but natural to look at these kind of people with awe and admiration but, to want to be like them?
driven by passion for art....
they say that people have 3 approaches when taking on a something; considering it as a job, a career or a calling.
so what am i doing?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, June 25, 2009
how to see now
i sold my camera phone, so the past week i've been thinking of bringing my digital camera with me wherever i go.
sad thing, i lost my digital camera too, rather it got stolen.
so now, i don't know how to go about thinking i don't have anything to take pictures with. it's so frustrating that everyday for the last week i was thinking of picking it up, but then i didn't. and it managed to get stolen.
i can't help blaming myself. i can't believe i wasted time not taking photos with it.
and i can't believe i didn't make the most out of every photo i took with it.
i have probably thousands now, but they all just sit in my hard drive, because i couldn't make myself post process them.
ay, regrets.
but as they say you lose something so that your hands could be free to receive something better. *sigh*
and i'd be happy even with a second hand d90. *gooey-eyed*
sad thing, i lost my digital camera too, rather it got stolen.
so now, i don't know how to go about thinking i don't have anything to take pictures with. it's so frustrating that everyday for the last week i was thinking of picking it up, but then i didn't. and it managed to get stolen.
i can't help blaming myself. i can't believe i wasted time not taking photos with it.
and i can't believe i didn't make the most out of every photo i took with it.
i have probably thousands now, but they all just sit in my hard drive, because i couldn't make myself post process them.
ay, regrets.
but as they say you lose something so that your hands could be free to receive something better. *sigh*
and i'd be happy even with a second hand d90. *gooey-eyed*
Sunday, June 21, 2009
put poetry in motion
For years now my memory has been slowly deteriorating. I thought it was because of what they say about giving birth, that the anesthesia makes you forgetful.
It's only now that I realize (after reading a blog that I have been following for a number of years now) that my failure to remember is due to my indifference. As I have failed to find attachment on things, on places, on people, i have failed to bond them with memory. I felt it, I have been incapable of feeling for things for some time now. That is why all that I can remember clearly are the befores. Have grown quite numb and apathetic.. It gave the illusion that I was strong, I guess I am, but also a two faced coward.
It's only now that I realize (after reading a blog that I have been following for a number of years now) that my failure to remember is due to my indifference. As I have failed to find attachment on things, on places, on people, i have failed to bond them with memory. I felt it, I have been incapable of feeling for things for some time now. That is why all that I can remember clearly are the befores. Have grown quite numb and apathetic.. It gave the illusion that I was strong, I guess I am, but also a two faced coward.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
benta
"Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag
natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"
--bob ong
*
As April approaches, three people come to mind. Jonathan Brandis, Kurt Cobain, and June "Bangkay" Ramos.
1. Jonathan Brandis
We have the same birth date. I adored him back in high school and college.
He was the most famous Bastian of the Never Ending story. He was my Lucas Wolenczak of Sea Quest DSV. He was the reason I grew to love dolphins and more of the sea. He had blue eyes and always wore checkered long sleeved tops. He spoke like he had gum in his mouth even though there wasn't any. He filled my Thursday nights with sci-fi. I remember he had a Nissan Maxima and I wrote him a letter once.
I lost track. I got the shock when I heard he died of suicide at age 27, hanged himself. My age right now. He could have gone further. Maybe he called out to me. He could have waited for me to get back to him.
2. Kurt Cobain
I could have waited three more days and my son's birthday could have been the same as his (but that would have been totally overdue). April though is his death month.
I'd play a Nirvana tape and I'd knew exactly how many seconds I need to rewind to a track I'd like to hear over and over (without looking at my watch). I always listened to him with my eyes closed and I always sang with him as if he too was singing for me. I copied or bought magazines that had articles on Nirvana. I made a Nirvana collage. He was an addict like I was to him. He complained of nauseous pain. Then he died....with a gunshot wound in the head.
Back in high school, I decided his songs should play on my funeral, but he went before I was gone.
I knew every line of his supposed suicide note. (Yes, because news surfaced that he wasn't suicidal at all, even the Rome incident and that Courtney is manipulating everything, maybe that was why Dave Grohl didn't side with her. Poor Frances).
I welcomed his peace, love and empathy. I still want his songs playing at my funeral.
3. June "Bangkay" Ramos
My first memory of Bangkay was at KKK monument in Lawton. He was wearing this Girl (bitch) this t-shirt that I really wanted. He was this kind of kid who's all friends with everyone, even people he just met. He was the kind of person who is not difficult to love, he had charm. He was there when the hubby and I were starting out.
He was a really good skateboarder, winning competitions here and there. One day he had a motorcycle accident and that started his ordeal. He still skated though, this though guy, he really love the sport.
He was on his way to a demo/competition up North when we all lost him.
March was his birth month, and it will be his death anniversary in April. He is remembered for the good man that he is. Not very many knew his story but the people who knew him know how to pay tribute.
natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"
--bob ong
*
As April approaches, three people come to mind. Jonathan Brandis, Kurt Cobain, and June "Bangkay" Ramos.
1. Jonathan Brandis
We have the same birth date. I adored him back in high school and college.
He was the most famous Bastian of the Never Ending story. He was my Lucas Wolenczak of Sea Quest DSV. He was the reason I grew to love dolphins and more of the sea. He had blue eyes and always wore checkered long sleeved tops. He spoke like he had gum in his mouth even though there wasn't any. He filled my Thursday nights with sci-fi. I remember he had a Nissan Maxima and I wrote him a letter once.
I lost track. I got the shock when I heard he died of suicide at age 27, hanged himself. My age right now. He could have gone further. Maybe he called out to me. He could have waited for me to get back to him.
2. Kurt Cobain
I could have waited three more days and my son's birthday could have been the same as his (but that would have been totally overdue). April though is his death month.
I'd play a Nirvana tape and I'd knew exactly how many seconds I need to rewind to a track I'd like to hear over and over (without looking at my watch). I always listened to him with my eyes closed and I always sang with him as if he too was singing for me. I copied or bought magazines that had articles on Nirvana. I made a Nirvana collage. He was an addict like I was to him. He complained of nauseous pain. Then he died....with a gunshot wound in the head.
Back in high school, I decided his songs should play on my funeral, but he went before I was gone.
I knew every line of his supposed suicide note. (Yes, because news surfaced that he wasn't suicidal at all, even the Rome incident and that Courtney is manipulating everything, maybe that was why Dave Grohl didn't side with her. Poor Frances).
I welcomed his peace, love and empathy. I still want his songs playing at my funeral.
3. June "Bangkay" Ramos
My first memory of Bangkay was at KKK monument in Lawton. He was wearing this Girl (bitch) this t-shirt that I really wanted. He was this kind of kid who's all friends with everyone, even people he just met. He was the kind of person who is not difficult to love, he had charm. He was there when the hubby and I were starting out.
He was a really good skateboarder, winning competitions here and there. One day he had a motorcycle accident and that started his ordeal. He still skated though, this though guy, he really love the sport.
He was on his way to a demo/competition up North when we all lost him.
March was his birth month, and it will be his death anniversary in April. He is remembered for the good man that he is. Not very many knew his story but the people who knew him know how to pay tribute.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
crash into me
if there was one song to be left out from all the millions, and this song would be the only one that could be played for the rest this life, it would be....
from the most basic of genres to the most complicated and eclectic fusions of music, which could it belong?
I've always believed that there should be no boundaries in music. Why should there be, music is expression and art. Although, there are singers that are just there for the money, and the songs produced for them are crappy, but that's beside the point. I'm not saying that everything is good and enjoyable, what i mean is that every genre has something to offer and we should refrain from generalizing or stereotyping. Oftentimes, kinakahon natin. I couldn't think of an english word that would suit it perfectly. On second thought it's confinement. But I digress, that thought should be in a different entry.
So, i am very open to different kinds of songs and artists. Most of my favorites i find hard to put in particular genre because what i like are those crossing borders. I am no expert, but I take pride in knowing them. Here are some:
- Pantera (Metal), especially the guitar riffs of Cemetery Gates just makes me go crazy, I just loved to hear how the guitar seems to be crying. It's sad how the guitarist Dimebag Darrel had to die.
- Nirvana's songs are just to die for and Kurt Cobain (Grunge)(another great artist that is no more) is my favorite singer of all time. They are everything, no more no less. And I want to pick up a guitar again only to play their songs.
- I love the goth in Evanescence and Amy Lee, even though i believe they don't consider themselves that. Her voice is powerful and the depth in their songs is draining.
- I adore Gwen Stefani. She has a unique voice that is whiny but sexy and her songs even before with No Doubt have a strange appeal.
- Alicia Keys is a great singer and composer and R n' B is beatiful.
- Sarah Mclachlan is Sarah Mclachlan. Her songs just put you in a trance.
The list goes on and thinking about it, maybe 16,000 songs in an iPod wouldn't be enough.
But again, what if there should be just one. I realized this last week and i have declared this to several people already. Oftentimes I would create a playlist with 20 songs at the least, but when i get to this particular track, i just ignore all the others and repeat it non-stop.
It's not pop, rn'b, grunge, or metal. In fact like my other favorites, i don't know where to put it (I sometimes am not even comfortable with branding music into genres actually). The music is a mixture of many influences. When i hear it, i know i can fly, and i know happiness and peace. And for the rest of my life I would love hearing....
you've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend
into your heart I'll beat again
sweet like candy to my soul
sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
lost for you I'm so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
(it's by dave matthews band)
from the most basic of genres to the most complicated and eclectic fusions of music, which could it belong?
I've always believed that there should be no boundaries in music. Why should there be, music is expression and art. Although, there are singers that are just there for the money, and the songs produced for them are crappy, but that's beside the point. I'm not saying that everything is good and enjoyable, what i mean is that every genre has something to offer and we should refrain from generalizing or stereotyping. Oftentimes, kinakahon natin. I couldn't think of an english word that would suit it perfectly. On second thought it's confinement. But I digress, that thought should be in a different entry.
So, i am very open to different kinds of songs and artists. Most of my favorites i find hard to put in particular genre because what i like are those crossing borders. I am no expert, but I take pride in knowing them. Here are some:
- Pantera (Metal), especially the guitar riffs of Cemetery Gates just makes me go crazy, I just loved to hear how the guitar seems to be crying. It's sad how the guitarist Dimebag Darrel had to die.
- Nirvana's songs are just to die for and Kurt Cobain (Grunge)(another great artist that is no more) is my favorite singer of all time. They are everything, no more no less. And I want to pick up a guitar again only to play their songs.
- I love the goth in Evanescence and Amy Lee, even though i believe they don't consider themselves that. Her voice is powerful and the depth in their songs is draining.
- I adore Gwen Stefani. She has a unique voice that is whiny but sexy and her songs even before with No Doubt have a strange appeal.
- Alicia Keys is a great singer and composer and R n' B is beatiful.
- Sarah Mclachlan is Sarah Mclachlan. Her songs just put you in a trance.
The list goes on and thinking about it, maybe 16,000 songs in an iPod wouldn't be enough.
But again, what if there should be just one. I realized this last week and i have declared this to several people already. Oftentimes I would create a playlist with 20 songs at the least, but when i get to this particular track, i just ignore all the others and repeat it non-stop.
It's not pop, rn'b, grunge, or metal. In fact like my other favorites, i don't know where to put it (I sometimes am not even comfortable with branding music into genres actually). The music is a mixture of many influences. When i hear it, i know i can fly, and i know happiness and peace. And for the rest of my life I would love hearing....
you've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend
into your heart I'll beat again
sweet like candy to my soul
sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
lost for you I'm so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
(it's by dave matthews band)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
i may have loved photography even before i knew it. i find delight in pictures with good quality, and i hated badly taken photos. even before i knew the basic principles of photography, i was applying the rule of thirds for example.
taking pictures for me doesn't only mean capturing scenes that i find beautiful, or depicting the story in that scene. from the start, i try to conceptualize or direct what i take.
but this is not to say i am good in photography. i love the art in photography. what i have is just an entry level point and shoot with very limited features. i'd like to get to the point though when i can say that, "it's not the gear, it's how you use it" or "it's not the camera, it's the shooter". oh, whatever. but i'd still love to have a DSLR.
here are some, critique all you want.
taking pictures for me doesn't only mean capturing scenes that i find beautiful, or depicting the story in that scene. from the start, i try to conceptualize or direct what i take.
but this is not to say i am good in photography. i love the art in photography. what i have is just an entry level point and shoot with very limited features. i'd like to get to the point though when i can say that, "it's not the gear, it's how you use it" or "it's not the camera, it's the shooter". oh, whatever. but i'd still love to have a DSLR.
here are some, critique all you want.
Friday, February 06, 2009
on writing
I would have celebrated the 2nd(and a half) year anniversary of the blog if i haven't been so lazy to write entries. Every single damned day i tell my self that i should start writing again but i fail my self. So today i am making no excuse, i won't try to employ any delaying tactic. I'll just write (or type) my head off even if this may be the ugliest thing i have ever written.
I used to think that writing is a thing of passion, i still do but the difference is i don't believe(anymore) in being in the mood or being inspired to be able write good compositions or poetry. This has to be something that you have to work on, to practice and be accustomed in doing. Sure you'll get something out of inspiration, on spurs of the moment, but try stopping writing for years and eventually you'll get really rusty...as i have. Now all i can write are cliches. so i intend to bring back the glorious days of my writing. This is my renaissance, the dark ages are over. ooh, it think i didn't have to say that, i'm being redundant, stating the obvious, but i'll keep it anyway, to remind myself, how i have miserably failed and how i should rise again.
The following is how i have put it a couple of months ago
so this frustration is nothing new, and i don't intent to keep it.
next thing i have to start is designing for this blog.
I used to think that writing is a thing of passion, i still do but the difference is i don't believe(anymore) in being in the mood or being inspired to be able write good compositions or poetry. This has to be something that you have to work on, to practice and be accustomed in doing. Sure you'll get something out of inspiration, on spurs of the moment, but try stopping writing for years and eventually you'll get really rusty...as i have. Now all i can write are cliches. so i intend to bring back the glorious days of my writing. This is my renaissance, the dark ages are over. ooh, it think i didn't have to say that, i'm being redundant, stating the obvious, but i'll keep it anyway, to remind myself, how i have miserably failed and how i should rise again.
The following is how i have put it a couple of months ago
i was enclined to writing again because of some graduate school requirement
and i know that i missed it, writing
or maybe what i miss more is the adulation that i get when people get to read them
i'd like to think i write good compositions, essay, poems
but i know that i have become rusty especially with poems
i haven't seriuosly written in a couple of years
it used to be my outlet for frustration, angst, unrequited love, love lost, tainted love, friendship and everything else
i used to make people smile when they read them
i used to get praises
i used to make people proud that they know someone who could write like me
gawd, i miss that.
i made several attempts to go back to writing again
always have a text file open for thoughts that suddenly spring up
but i guess that my handy-dandy notebook is much more effective
i had three of those, the third one i was not able to fill
stopped when the person who gave it to me and i ended
(somehow i wish he would tell me to write again, i believe he was a fan)
i however also feel that i had stopped because i refrained from bottling up my feelings inside
i learned to let them go, and say them at the very least
didn't prove to be beneficial to my writing
but somehow, it made me a new person
now that i am seriuosly trying to write again
this time it is not because i have feelings to hide
but now, i have more to share
so this frustration is nothing new, and i don't intent to keep it.
next thing i have to start is designing for this blog.
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