on writing

I would have celebrated the 2nd(and a half) year anniversary of the blog if i haven't been so lazy to write entries. Every single damned day i tell my self that i should start writing again but i fail my self. So today i am making no excuse, i won't try to employ any delaying tactic. I'll just write (or type) my head off even if this may be the ugliest thing i have ever written.

I used to think that writing is a thing of passion, i still do but the difference is i don't believe(anymore) in being in the mood or being inspired to be able write good compositions or poetry. This has to be something that you have to work on, to practice and be accustomed in doing. Sure you'll get something out of inspiration, on spurs of the moment, but try stopping writing for years and eventually you'll get really rusty...as i have. Now all i can write are cliches. so i intend to bring back the glorious days of my writing. This is my renaissance, the dark ages are over. ooh, it think i didn't have to say that, i'm being redundant, stating the obvious, but i'll keep it anyway, to remind myself, how i have miserably failed and how i should rise again.

The following is how i have put it a couple of months ago

i was enclined to writing again because of some graduate school requirement
and i know that i missed it, writing
or maybe what i miss more is the adulation that i get when people get to read them

i'd like to think i write good compositions, essay, poems
but i know that i have become rusty especially with poems
i haven't seriuosly written in a couple of years

it used to be my outlet for frustration, angst, unrequited love, love lost, tainted love, friendship and everything else
i used to make people smile when they read them
i used to get praises
i used to make people proud that they know someone who could write like me

gawd, i miss that.

i made several attempts to go back to writing again
always have a text file open for thoughts that suddenly spring up
but i guess that my handy-dandy notebook is much more effective
i had three of those, the third one i was not able to fill
stopped when the person who gave it to me and i ended
(somehow i wish he would tell me to write again, i believe he was a fan)
i however also feel that i had stopped because i refrained from bottling up my feelings inside
i learned to let them go, and say them at the very least
didn't prove to be beneficial to my writing
but somehow, it made me a new person

now that i am seriuosly trying to write again
this time it is not because i have feelings to hide
but now, i have more to share

so this frustration is nothing new, and i don't intent to keep it.

next thing i have to start is designing for this blog.